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01 November 2014 @ 09:10 pm
How to be whole  
It was always so much more interesting to be broken.

Leaking tears, and blood, lymph maybe...puss. Everything dramatic and messy and rough. It felt so much more fucking genuine than something clean and smooth and elegant. I craved the gnashing of teeth, the tearing of hear and heart, the wringing of hands.

Finding wholeness now... is it boring? is it sad in its small-and-neat package? Does ease make me feel lazy, so that I seek out chaos?